The Slowest Company

See also: Rejection Form

At the end of last December I received an email from 3Com saying that they had received my application for a job and I had been entered into their database. This was for a job that I had applied to in March. At the time, I thought "What kind of company takes 9 months to acknowledge a job application?" and then forgot about it in the celebrations of the New Year.

On St. Patrick's day, I came home to find a letter from the Potomac Electric Power Company informing me that I had been rejected for a job I had applied for in January of last year. I was a little amazed that it had taken 13 months to get rejected. However, since so few companies even bother notifying you of these things, I felt that I was obligated to send a response. In the interest of speedy communications, I decided I should also post my response on the web.

Pepco 1900 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC. 20068 Dear Ms. XXXXXX, Thank you for your letter of February 28 2000 notifying me that I was not accepted for the position of Corporate Strategist. Since I applied for this position some 13 months previously, I canít help but wonder what a job at your company would be like. I suppose your other communications are likewise delayed. Inter-office mail is, no doubt, delivered by continental drift. Email is accomplished by mailing floppy disks ñ by pony express. You serve your web page from a hand cranked MultiLith 1240 printing press safely protected behind a firewall of adobe brick. Perhaps paychecks are also delayed for over a year. Annual reviews would happen once a decade, and eight oíclock meetings would actually start the next day. I would guess that deadlines are set by life expectancy. On the positive side, vacations would allow enough time to circumnavigate the globe by tricycle and maternity leave is probably long enough to get the kid through college. I think I do understand why my application was so delayed. Your company had a very difficult time making your systems ready for the new millenium. Adding that extra digit to all your paperwork was probably a very difficult process. Rest assured, I will keep an eye on your list of job vacancies. If there is anything that looks interesting, I will submit a resume ñ for my children or grandchildren. Sincerely, Drew McCormick

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© Drew McCormick 2000